Dating
"Dating" results from the web. Click to find out more.
Safety tips
Always meet in a Public place!
Before meeting the person:
Always tell someone that you are meeting someone from an internet correspondence. Have them call you on your cell phone during the meeting.
If you have no one then call your own answering machine to leave a message you got there safely, where you are and the time. After the date, call your machine again and say all is good and going home and the time. This is a good practice, in general, since someone will always know where you were if you ever do show up missing. I do this when I just go to the grocery store...really!
Print and leave their profile by your phone or give it to someone to hold.
Write any additional information on their printed profile/adExample=First and last name, phone number, other e-mail addresses, where they work, home address.
Also write where, when you are meeting them and the phone number of the establishment, if necessary.
If it does not feel right, then change the situation till it feels right to you.
Be very aggressive when it comes to your comfort level and safety. Only you can make YOU feel safe. Trust yourself and be smart. Make sure any phone number they give you is a real, valid number before you meet them.
Correspondence:
Never post your real email address anywhere online, and especially not in connection with a personal ad. If the dating site requires that your email address be visible to non-members and members, choose another singles site. The best sites offer anonymous email forwarding and messaging so that you can decide when you are ready to share any personal information with others.
If you and another member mutually decide to communicate outside of the service, be sure to use a free "throwaway" account from Hotmail or Yahoo.
Do not include any identifying information in your personal ad. Use only your first name or a nickname. List a region as your location, especially if you live in a small town.
By stating your preferences clearly, you'll reduce the number of people who respond to your ad. However, if you're female, you can still expect an inordinate amount of responses to your ad. It's also inevitable that you will be contacted by people who are less than desirable. If you respond, do so tactfully and kindly. Sometimes ignoring a request is appropriate, so use good judgment.
Don't lie about your physical appearance or age.
Only share your photograph with others when you feel reasonably comfortable with the person requesting it. Remember, once your photograph is online, anyone can download it, alter it, post it on another site, etc.
If a potential date refuses to exchange photographs after you've established a certain level of trust, or he keeps delaying a face-to-face meeting, that should set off an alarm. He or she probably hasn't been completely honest and you may want to think twice before continuing the relationship.
Once you begin regular correspondence with someone who has similar interests, move slowly. Take the time to learn about this person. Ask lots of questions and remember that if someone seems too good to be true, he (or she) probably is.
Your profile
Your profile (details about yourself used on a website that people read to find more about you) is a uniquely personal introduction. Think of it as equivalent to not only what you say when first meeting a potential date, but also what you are wearing, your posture, eye contact, the firmness of your handshake -- even your makeup, perfume or cologne.
While there is no one profile style that suits everyone, a charming, humorous, direct, creative or otherwise distinctly unique approach may improve your results. Be yourself, but be your best self, not the one who's been having a bad day.
First Impressions
First of all there are no second chances at making a great first impression. The first few seconds of contact become a standard for every subsequent impression you make.
In romance many of us take a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) approach. In just under ten seconds, enough time to read the first few lines of an email, glance at a profile or extend your hand and offer a friendly "hello", someone is forming a first and lasting impression of you. Is it a good one?
Several hundred single men and women attending dating and flirting classes were asked to list the attributes they find attractive and unattractive in a potential partner. Below is a list of the most frequent responses. Although many of these attributes may not be immediately apparent, most will show up sometime during a first date.
Attributes Leading To A Positive Impression:
• warmth
• sense of humor
• imagination
• confidence
• success
• fitness
• individuality
• body language
• conversational ability
• aspiration
• power
• creativity
• kindness
Attributes Leading To A Negative Impression:
• self-centered
• closed minded and judgmental
• lack of manners
• poor conversational ability
• negative life attitude
• lack of education
• immature
• indecisive/without an opinion
• lack of integrity
• war stories from past relationships
• whining and complaining
• shallowness
• only interested in sex
• power games and manipulation
• materialistic
There are no do-overs when it comes to first impressions, yet many of us fail to put our best foot forward during early romantic encounters. We want to be loved for who we are and are leery to "package" ourselves in any way. This is understandable, but not always realistic. Dating is a numbers game and, like it or not, dating occurs in a competitive environment. The next positive, first romantic impression you make may turn into life-long love - not a bad return on a relatively minor investment.
Sample Ad
The following is a REAL ad which generated several hundred responses in a few short months. The writer is a VERY happy (and busy) individual indeed!!
"A classic Sag, born in a pig year, I am happy to be me, and this site IS 'under construction' each and every day. Happiness is being in the moment, and having health, peace of mind and love. Breathing is very, very good, so are flexibility and movement. Joy is found everywhere...in family, friends, work, and play; snowflakes, clouds and mountains; bears, birds, trees and flowers; really fine Belgian truffles and an occassional black lager. Ecstacy will be connecting and becoming one with you.
You understand what I said above, who I am, what I want. You know who you are and what you want. You set goals and achieve what you want. You are fit, active, and intelligent. You enjoy a rewarding & challenging career.You embrace the dark as well as the light. You feel and express emotion freely and with sensitivity. You refuse to carry another's emotional baggage, and yet are empathetic. You speak honestly and act with integrity. You compromise only what you do, not who you are. You love yourself and want to share your wants and needs with a partner.
The light within shines in your eyes and you are radiant in every way. So am I. Let's connect."
If you want to achieve similar Internet Dating success, think about what is important to you...what you want and who you are. Then start writing!
Using Email
Your first email dialogue is like the beginning of a cocktail party conversation. Create a good balance of questions and answers. Provide (short winded) details about yourself, while at the same time asking a few open ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Humor is one way to break the ice. Don't worry about writing perfect grammar, just let your personality shine through.
Using Chat
- Before you begin to chat, take a moment to view the
conversations and get a feel for the atmosphere in the room.
- Introduce yourself and greet everyone in the room. A simple "Hello Everyone" is a great way to start.
- Don't gossip. It seldom casts a flattering light upon you.
- Use chat rooms and tools to your advantage. "Ignore" anyone who
is disruptive.
- Expression is an important part of chat. Familiarize yourself with emoticons and other chat expressions to look and feel like a pro.
- Select a certain day, time, and chat room to meet your friends each week.
- Once you establish a group forum, vary the location of your meetings to allow others to participate.
- Host your own chat events
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